the "twilight" zone

I'm obsessed. I have become so consumed by Stephenie Meyer's "Twilight" saga ever since my 16 year old nephew shoved a copy of the book in my face a month ago after I complained that I was bored out of my skull from lack of any mental stimulation. Since then, I've bought "New Moon" and "Eclipse" and have actually memorized the juicy lines in all three books. Oh, I've also preordered "Breaking Dawn", the last installment to the "Twilight" saga (which will come out in August 2! yippee!) and this officially makes me what, the books' oldest fan? Ugh!

Okay, this obsession is scary because I'm no longer in the puberty stage and "Twilight" was basically written for teen (young-adult) readers. I think I'm having a midlife crisis or if it's too early for that, maybe it's quarter life crisis. But how can I resist when Edward Cullen is possibly the yummiest undead vampire in the history of yummy undead vampires? The ocher eyes that turn to black when he's angry and hungry (for Isabella "Bella" Swan, the love of his life); the bronze hair; the pale, translucent skin,; and did I mention that he can sing and play the piano beautifully as well? And like most vampires, he can also lift heavy objects with his super strength (he lifted a van off Bella), move faster than the speed of light, and decapitate evil vampires in one flick of his delicate (looking) but lethal hands (sigh!). Of course, being the ultimate romantic vampire hero -- he can also read minds. Hmm... wonder if he knows what I'm thinking right now -- definitely thoughts of the non-PG variety.

"Just because I'm resisting the wine doesn't mean I can't appreciate the bouquet," Edward says as he sniffs Bella's graceful (and very exposed) neck. Now this sends shivers down my spine. I think the reason why the "Twilight" trilogy has captured millions of readers is because of the TENSION between Bella and Edward from start to end. You don't know when Edward will snap and give in to his inhuman instincts and just rip Bella's throat to drink her blood, or if he just wants to give in to his human instincts (which have long been buried in the deepest recesses of his psyche [if he still has that] since 1918 -- the year his heart stopped beating and which makes him roughly 108 years old or the oldest 17 year old to still walk this earth) and make love to Bella. There is definitely a lot of suppressed passion in the book, and a lot of self-restraint for the tortured vampire. The important question is: which does he hunger more for? Her body or her blood? Of course, he falls in love and that makes it all the more complicated. Blood, sex, and gore all males (vampires or not) can deal with, but love? Now that's another story.

The tug and pull situation between the two characters is so palpable and so painful (to read) and I'm so hooked you can throw me in the middle of the ocean as shark bait. Because of the clamor of fans and the need to ruin people's imaginations (or maybe just mine in particular), "Twilight" will now be a movie (check the trailer on this page) and is now in its post-prod phase. It will be shown in theatres in December 12, 2008 and Edward will be played by Robert Pattinson (Cedric Diggory in the movie version of Rowling's Harry Potter). Bella on the other hand will be played by Kristen Stewart (that androgynous looking girl who played Jodie Foster's daughter in Panic Room -- but she's filled out from the looks of her).

I don't know if I'll like the movie. Will I like Pattinson as Edward and Stewart as Bella? Or will I be hugely disappointed? (Because my imagination went on hyperdrive after reading this book so Pattinson better be good -- really, really good as well as extremely inhumanly beautiful.) But I guess, regardless of how the movie will turn out, Hollywood can go to hell (like most vampires will except for the "vegetarian" Cullens that is -- by "vegetarian" I mean they've shunned human blood which will probably give their souls a shot at heaven). Movie or no movie, what's important to me is how I feel everytime I re-read the books (um, and believe me I've read it so many, many times to the point that I'm already embarrassed at this uber display of juvenile obsession) -- and that's with a smile on my face and a thud-thud in my heart each time I turn the pages (really, and I'm not trying to be cheesy here). And hell, no enterprising Hollywood producer can take that away from me.

blowing the candles

Well, today I turn a year older. And definitely wiser. Had a long commute yesterday from New Jersey to Long Island and in between trains (Light trail, Path, Subway, LIRR), I thought about my life and what I've done so far. Some things I'm definitely proud of, while others... well, let's just say I did my best but I guess my best... you know how the song goes.

But I'm so happy today. Of course, it must have been because my sweet husband greeted me the moment I woke up, my very first greeting of the day. And suddenly, there's a deluge of opportunities coming my way now, specifically today. Good things are happening on my birthday. One of my major wishes have been answered. God is indeed very, very good to me. Or maybe He's just sick and tired of my constant badgering...

Would have wanted to spend this day with my family, but I know in spite of the distance between us, we've never felt more together, or closer than we do now. The love that I feel for them, for my husband and children have grown bigger and more intense, if that's possible. I've been with my husband for 9 years and I love him more now than before -- again if that's possible. But I guess, it is, because that's how I feel right now. Nothing like distance to make one realize the value of a loved one. Nothing like separation to bring two people closer together. Ah, love, love, love. Birthdays are definitely more meaningful with lots of L-O-V-E.

Today, I'm going to blow out my candles (yeah, literally, thanks to my sister). Another year older. But wiser. And definitely happier.

hell and high water

I'm in a state of panic. I found out yesterday about the typhoon that hit my hometown, Iloilo City. I talked to my husband last night and cringed at the damage the floods inflicted on the place I call home. It's a first for us all, to experience this kind of disaster. The house where I spent most of my growing up years has been marred by flood waters. But it is as resilient as its owners, so from what I gathered from my husband, the damage was not as bad as I feared it would be.

I feel quite helpless here. I'm thinking of my kids, my husband and my family back home. I can imagine how disorienting things are for them right now, what with the cleaning up that they have to do and the other little things they have to deal with after that kind of disaster. I can imagine what the thousands of people in the province might be feeling right now, having lost their homes, their possessions, their loved ones. I guess, compared to them, we should count our blessings.

I don't know what's happening to our world. I've been thinking long and hard at how we just take things for granted. And now, this is the price we have to pay. Nature unleashing its wrath. It is scary to be living in this angry, vengeful world. I'm thinking, is it payback time?

I don't want to be negative and paranoid. I want to dwell instead on the infinite goodness of God. Cliche or no cliche, I know that the sun always comes out after a long, dark night.

jersey girl

Here I am again, packing. And then unpacking, and then packing again. When is this going to end? I've been unbelievably stressed these past days imagining (and hearing) that I have three hostile voices in my head arguing incessantly about this and about that.

Tomorrow I'm off to Jersey (again! I was just there two weeks ago) along with my two friends. I'm really tired of this. Every week, plans are changing and I just want to sulk in one corner and cry. I think my vacation is officially over. Real life sucks.

Mama Mia!

Watched Mama Mia! at the Fox Theatre in Atlanta last night. Predictably it was a fun show what with ABBA songs being sung with the exuberance of teenagers on hyperdrive. Hummed "Dancing Queen" and "The Winner Takes It All" on the way home much to the chagrin of my brother.

Wolfed down 2 blueberry pancakes, 2 sausages, 3 slices of bacon, and 2 sunny side ups after the show at the local IHOP (yeah, real classy). My arteries are all choked up but after being pumped up by cheesy ABBA songs, what's a gal to do but eat?

st. simons island

southern beauty

pristine me

on the bridge and off to the island

orange skies and the long road home

hell week

So many things are happening in my life right now. I'd compare it to being sent to Iraq or some other war torn country without any ammunition. Every single day since last Sunday, I've been bombarded with issues that demand solutions. Some plans fell midflight, hopes were dashed, tears were shed, and what I thought would work, clearly did not. I'm so distraught right now, but at the same time I'm taking this as a challenge -- and I never run away from challenges.

Challenges are nasty enemies that come and go in our lives. They're life's necessary evils. Some can leave you with battle scars, yet you can survive and even triumph over them; others can unmercilessly beat you up to a pulp, and you can very well end up like an injured dog yelping in agonizing pain. I don't know how it will end up for me this time. But I do know that I've never been fond of licking my wounds. Someone once said that I was a warrior in my past life. So I guess, with that to back me up, I can handle the "Iraq situation" with only my wits and my faith as my strongest weapons.